Hiding out

I have been procrastinating in updating my blog recently. Why, not sure. Each time I sit here I know I want to tell ppl what has been going on but somehow I am just not in the mood to do so. Maybe cos I was tired after finishing my newsletter which my dad is going to circulate around for me. I must admit, writting that has been tedious. Everything I put in here or in email to ppl has been summed up there. So I feel like I am being redundant. so if any of you get the newsletter but you have also been an ardent follower of my blog and emails, then you can immediately trade the paper with the kacang putih man for a bag of kacang.

anyway... life has been ho hum for a bit. I have been having a lot of questions in my mind about the youth here and what excatly is expected of me. they have asked me to work with them but what is the end objective? I feel these kids are very capable of a lot of things but we stiffle them with our assumptions of their ignorance. E.g. starting the YF with prayer. I think it is good exposure to the kids - of course I would need to explain why we should and what is prayer all about. But someone asked me if the kids would feel awkward about starting it with prayer and hence would it encourage them to come late to miss that part. Now, I don't think that is true. But some of the ppl here obviously think it is possible. Hence my question, are we underestimating them?

Don't get me wrong... I am not saying these kids are absolutely comfortable with the concept of praying and being spiritual but I think generally (all churches) we want our pews to be filled with young ppl hand have them be extremely active in church but my question is are we giving them enough to empower them about their faith? When they leave their home church for one reason or another will they be able to defend their faith or was church a place they went to hang out? But the truth is, I have so many questions and no answers. And the only way I am going to plan for these kids are to have my questions answered first.

so, we are suppose to meet next week to talk about the youths... and I hope some of the 'structure' I would like to implement will do the kids some good. I am all for the kids coming and having a good time, but I would hate it if that was all they came and did.

anyway... I may also be spending some time in a young offenders institute... i went there for a visit a few days ago and the enviroment was a bit scary.. it looks like a prison for kids. Not like any juve hall I know about... which isn't much anyway... so once I finalise my time and dates and stuff I may be going in there once a month.

my first day in school was a bit of a bore. I was worried if I was stepping on ppl's toes and to be honest I felt a bit out of place. The teachers looked at me or looked pass me, the kids was curios but I felt very much alone and unsure of myself. And I was worried if anything I said or did with the kids was not conforming to the school's code of conduct. It is emotionally tiring after that cos I felt so lost. I hope things get better. Maybe I should just make an ass of mysefl so the teachers will know I am alive and stop looking pass me.

anyway... my mind is a bit worried about the services so I shall just take a break for a while.

cheerio.