Learning from history...

*sigh* This is what happens when one procrastinates for so long… you forget what you initially wanted to blog about. And even if I did recall, somehow it doesn't seem important enough to blog anymore.

So, just to recap from all the below:

• My voice did come back, like almost a week later. The Chinese meds did work a bit, and would have worked a lot more if I didn't try to sing and scream at the Youth Rally the next day.

But the truth is, I would never trade it for the world. I realised how important my voice was to me, it is the only form of ministry I am aware off. Or comfortable with. And I would be devastated and broken hearted if I one day woke up and could no longer sing for God. Hence, I am even more thankful to finally quit smoking!

Letting go of emotions is hard… and there is no such thing as letting go. It is about accepting how we feel, learning how to adapt and if required moving on. Have I moved on? I can't say I have. But I am making an effort to. So maybe that is progress.

EAG wasn't doing very well after his dad's passing. He still isn't. But at least he isn't as snappy as he was before. Like I mentioned before, only thing I can do is wait around till he is ready. But the waiting was hard cos he kept getting snappy. And I got irritated, so move even further from the door to give him sufficient space.

So moving from there, work has been a challenge. Not just balancing the workload and the new designation, but also my mindset. I dare say I am almost losing it and wanting to throw in the towel. Common sense keeps me going to be honest. The mere fact that giving up a job at this time makes no sense esp looking at how the country is going. Secondly, I am not sure if I am ready to make that leap. But all things should begin with a small step… so hmm… am slowly trying to kick into gear towards the goal.

Other things in my life… well… I have been having several spiritual infused conversations and it has been a nice difference to some of the others I have had. But in life, one should always learn from their mistakes. And I foresee history repeating itself and it is very broken heartening. Either path I choose, I will be driven by nothing but selfishness, though one choice may reap benefits for the individuals involved.

I know I am vague. It is ok. I just needed reminding that history is repeating itself and I need to be on guard to make sure I don't repeat my mistakes and maybe to change my decisions and actions so I can not repeat the disastrous outcome too. I have been praying a lot harder and a lot more frequent for wisdom, guidance and most importantly self-control esp in my emotions. One can't go wrong with prayer...

*sigh*