Christians are human too....

* the long awaited post *

I don’t have much experience in men. Despite that ppl may think (someone commented that I seem to have a lot of crushes - this I will take it up at a later time) my knowledge of men and male-female relationship issues surpasses that of an encyclopaedia the bottomline is, when it is matters of the heart, I know shite.

So when friends call and say they broke up, I am speechless. I only know what my own broken heart knows. And I can only share what I went through and how I survived.

But when my gfs tell me that they were shocked their loved one could hurt them in such ways, I don’t bat an eyelid. Even worse when Christians are involved.

There is a strange perception that Christians don’t hurt each other. Because the bible says so – do unto others as you want others to do unto you. You break someone’s heart, someone is going to smash yours.

As I have clarified that I have limited experience in relationships, I must also clarify that all my relationships have been with Christians. Now, I didn’t purposefully seek them out. Things happen.

And you know what, all of them – I am not afraid to say this – broke up with me. Not sure whether – as a friend once pondered – if it is my physical being that threw them off? I don’t know. But I would like to think that there is still a tiny speck in us that values a person above their looks and the size of their jeans or bras.

Anyway… I doubt it was the case with mine. But I could be wrong.

So… moving back to my friends.

Recently a friend of mine broke up with her long standing boyfriend. So long that they were already getting ready to be married. Then one day she called to say they had broken up and there was no hope. Till today I haven’t asked her what went wrong and now she is now dating a non Christian guy and they are getting ready to get married.

You call it rebound, I call it not having enough time to heal.

There is something about being Christians that we automatically assume we are more tolerant, more forgiving, more understanding and therefore incapable of incurring hurt on someone.

That boys and girls, is pure and utter BS!

Yes we are Christians, but we are also human beings. Humans regardless of male and female, have emotions. Yes, ladies, men have emotions. And more often than not, our emotions rule supreme as opposed to our brains. And women esp, we wear our emotions on our sleeves… hence why we may sometimes be considered as overtly emotional. We were made that way. Just some of us are more able to control it than others. But it does not change the fact which I am reiterating in case you missed it, we all have emotions. And we all act on it.

Hence, we are all capable of causing pain. To ourselves and our loved ones. And it is also for the same reason, we feel pain and hurt.

I am sorry that my friends have broken hearts, esp one recently who is of a different faith broke up with her Christian bf because his parents didn’t think the difference in faith would be good for the relationship. When in fact, she already had one foot stepping in it. It was interesting when she said – I love him. Not his religion. But give me a chance, and I will learn to like it.

She also went on to say – I don’t hate your religion. I have no reason to, even though his parents are using this as an excuse.

WOW! I am blown away.

I am not going to go into the subject of non Christians and Christians dating, too long, and too many issues.

But, I guess what I am trying to say is, which I probably already have put it in more words than I intended to do is, Christians can’t escape the wrath of deep emotion. The deeper the emotion, the greater the pain. And the only thing I can think of that has been a great help to me to deal with it was clinging on to the fact that no one will ever love we as much as God, my family and myself.

Whilst I was in UK, I had a revelation. My last bf was in 2003 and since then, I had the odd dates, had 1 major crush that messed up the friendship but nothing ground breaking.

One day in UK I realised that there were certain things in my past that I still hadn’t let go off… and those things were the ones that was hindering me allowing myself to heal and move on. I thought I was ok… and that my heart was healed but in actual fact, certain scars were still open. So up until the moment when I recognised the scars, I hadn’t gone full circle. And I am glad that now I have. I didn’t realise how affected I was.

God is patient. He allowed me to heal and come to terms on my own. Friends may love us, but sometimes they will want to try and choke you with advice and tell you to let go of the asshole (male or female). But it is easier said then done. And no one can tell you how or when but you. And at the end of the day, only the Creator can mend what is broken...

But it is up to us to tell the Creator to mend us. Till then, He can only hold out tissues to wipe your tears and give hugs.

So… moral of the story is… being Christians does not spare us experiencing a heartache or to cause one.

So, if anyone thought otherwise, maybe you want to re-look your relationship again ok and remember, we are only human.