Clarification
Firstly, I completely forgotten that I had posted in May!! I actually thot my last posting was in Jan... But yeah... crossroads are shite. Some ppl who read the May's posting thought I was writing about a relationship... So I need to clarify something : IT ISN'T. While it was inspired by a crossroad in a relationship, it was actually thinking about my work - a relationship I have been in for the last 4 years. 7 if you include the time before I went to UK for mission work. 7 years is a long time to serve in a company and recently, my boss has asked if I wanted to be more involved in the management dept. Not that the offer isnt tempting, after all I am so familiar with the place, people and environment. But the question I was struggling at that time was : am I staying because I am being complacent or is this what I truly want. A question we will always ask ourselves when we are in any relationship!. So hope this makes things clear.
Today's post
*sigh* This is the struggle lah... I actually have a few things to share, but not enough time. So since my last post relates to work, so, maybe I will go on the same thread again. So yes, I have been struggling at work and trying to keep myself motivated. And this lack of clarity and motivation has actually taken a toll on my mindset and performance - not that I am slacking. But maybe just not putting as much effort as I should be lah. I know I can actually do better. But am just a bit tired of the mundane environment. Many ppl tell me that the line I am in is fast paced and exciting. I dont deny it. But perhaps it is time for a change and for me to be feeling this for such a long period maybe means my spirit is not settled. So much of drama has been doing on in the office and when you reach to a certain management position, you are privy to these dramas and after a while, it takes a toll on your mental state. Not that other organisations do not have drama, but maybe I am just bored with the current state and therefore that is why my spirit isnt settled.
Maybe God is kicking my butt to do something. Maybe God wants me to understand that being content isnt a bad thing - as there are a lot of pros for me to stay where I am at. But maybe that is also me comforting myself so I dont have to face the severity of the unknown CHANGE. So many maybes...
So, while you may be telling me to go to God and speak to Him (which I really do not disagree), this is what I got:
Last night - we were reading John 7 at bible study. A key reoccurring theme was : In His Time. The disciples wanted Him to go to Judea and perform miracles to prove a point. But he said, not his time yet. Then the ppl were plotting against him, yet no one did anything. It wasnt time yet. Then the guards came back empty handed because they were confused about him. Again, it was his time yet. So... when is His time then? :-/
This morning - was doing my devotion and it was Judges 1:28 when Israel was pressing the Canaanites into forced labour but never quite finished the job. So the devotion went on to say that in all things we do, if we say we are doing it for God's glory then we MUST finish and see it through the end. God wants his people to finish the job.
"Whenever you have a project to do, make sure you complete the job fully. Go the extra distance to make sure your boss or your Client is fully satisfied with your work. You may complete 95% of your work, but if it is not completed, you will be known for what you did not finish, rather than for what you did finish."
And if I am doing my work for God's glory, therefore He is my boss. Not the earthly ppl I currently work with. And if God is my boss, therefore the way I approach my work environment should also change!
Talk about OUCH! So... while I pray for a direction and wait for His time, I guess what I need to do now is remember that I work for God. And not my earthly boss... and perhaps then I will find my zeal to persevere on.
Gambahteh!
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