I have a terrible habit. I have a lot of things running around in my head and I keep telling myself that I need to write this down. Sometime down the line when someone reads this they will be inspired or when my children read this they will see that despite how huge a monster I am as their mother, I had the same fears and the same issues as them… I think. OK… so maybe that is an exaggeration.
But yeah… I do have many things in my head… so I have decided to commit the next few posts to getting them out.
First thing… I finally told my boss I was leaving at the end of the year – though I have not submitted my formal letter. I should – September 15. Then I have about 3 months before I leave.
The past few days at camp I was challenged to think about a few things… I was also offered a job. I asked myself, if PR was my job or vocation. And I asked myself by going away and by considering the life of ministry, am I running away from the battles in life? The speaker said the true temptation lies in the real world and as pillars of salts surviving the real world; we are true testimonies of God.
As I was sitting looking out to sea, I was filled with fear and that overwhelming feeling I have been experiencing lately. This amazing humbleness of being in God’s presence. I led in worship during one of the sessions and while I was singing in my mind I was asking God to show me a sign that He was pleased with my offering of music. After the session, several ppl came up to me and said it was an amazing time of worship. And instantly my heart wanted to burst and I was going to tear. I felt the heavens smiling on me. I felt God hugging me. Such a beautiful feeling it is.
I sat in the hotel room the same day going through my Key Performance Index. That was when I honestly asked myself if I would consider coming back to PR. And then when I went for dinner, I was offered a job to serve Him. How ironic is that? And after all this, people find it rather odd when I say He has a sense of humour. I didn’t commit… but I said I would think about it. Luckily, someone on the table reminded me that 1 year is a long time for God to work His magic… and to pray and seek guidance. ~ Amen!~
That night we discussed about how God speak to us. And I thought of the many ways He has spoken to me in His still small voice… so still and small that it can sometimes knock me off my feet! And once again, I was comforted that I was saved, by the cross and on that fateful night for something amazing to come.
I also spent from time speaking to Abs about her experience, and something tells me my experience is going to be life changing. Or maybe I am just being my overly dramatic self again – stoopid job has improved my acting and drama skills!
So does that mean me going for this is me leaving behind a job to pursue my vocation and rather then runing away I am embracing the challenges in life?
I wonder........
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