When is it too much?

I just had a conversation with a gf about her relationship... well more like her efforts to have a relationship. And of course this was linked back to my recent entry about finally deciding to tell God what I want, or more like who I want.

Well I have permission to share her story, so here goes.

She is currently interested in a guy. And she thinks he is too. Not too sure... but seems curious to see how this will develop. Sounds good... But since their conversation of expressing interest, nothing has happened since then. In fact, to make matters worse (in her opinion) the few times she tried calling him, he never picked up his phone. And, to make it worser (i know, no such word) he doesn't bother calling back or texting her.

I know she is trying hard to not get all whiny and pompuan about it. But she raised a good point.

Friend : If he was interested in developing the relationship, some sort of communication is important right?

Me : I agree.

Friend : Even if he wasn't, it is normal courtesy to return a call to someone right?

Me : I agree.

Friend : So why isn't he at least calling me back?

Me : I don't know.

Friend : I don't mind him not being able to pick up my calls, but the decency to at least return the call is missing... *proceeds to scrounge up face*

Me : How many times did you call him?

Friend : 4 times in the past week.

Me : *silence*

How many times is too many times for a girl to call a guy? 4 times in a week... does that sound desperate? I read somewhere that men and women should not call immediately after the first date even though you are dying to do so. That would make you look desperate. Also, in the courting period, there is a list of dos and don'ts. Both are alien to me and apparently to my friend as well. Which would explain the current single status we both 'luxuriate' in...

But seriously, if you like a person or interested to explore further, why not communicate? I am not saying he should pick up every call... and speak for hours. But a simple "Hi... sorry about missing your calls. Been really busy. Call you back later when things are more settled" Something like that lah... is it really that hard?

I read in men's mags that men shudder and fear commitment and pressure. And all that endless calls from 'her' can sometimes make them feel claustrophobic. So how do I know if I am causing someone to feel just that? The way I look at it, it is a very fine line... and worst of all, the line is invisible! So I may go through the rest of my life never knowing!

Coming back to my previous post... this is one case in point for me to drive home why finding a guy is difficult. All the rules. It is not only women who are complicated. Men have their own issues as well.

So......... Friend has decided to stop calling him all together. She even declared that if he is interested, it is for him to step up. Her calls were her effort, but if it is not reciprocrated, having the interest in the beginning doesn't cut it. There has to be steps from his side to act on the interest and explore further.

Looking at my friend, this only reinforces the fear in my heart to be with someone. Or attempt to be with someone. Too much drama, which I already have enough to begin with.

So bottomline is, women aren't the only complicated species... men have their issues as well.

With issues like this, though small, it does scare you to go out and take a chance... cos you never know where the invisible line is. So honestly, I am not sure how this will affect my prayer last week...