Here we go again...

I was once told that how we start a year will sort of determine how for the rest of the year will be. Similar to the theory of when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, the tendency of you to be grump throughout the day will be quite high.

So there I was sitting in church during new year midnight service, minutes before the clock struck 12 indicating the start of 2009 when it suddenly dawned on me that certain things I was suppose to let go / forget / put behind me / get over was still looming over me. Truth is, I totally forgot the deadline I had set for myself. And there I was, suddenly faced with the fact that I was going to be taking these extra baggages with me as I stepped into the New Year.

As I was on my knees preparing myself for the Lord’s Supper, I was also mentally, spiritually and emotionally on my knees. Some of these baggages are really quite a load and I wanted so badly for God to be merciful and erase them from my consciousness. But the only response I received was the assurance that He knows my struggles and He knows my weaknesses so there is nothing that is in my path that by and through His grace I cannot handle.

So it is now the 2nd week of the year, and it seems that they are still very much entrenched in my system like a terrible thorn in my side haunting me and reminding me that some things are easily said than done.
Irritating, I know!

In my obstinate passion to be rid of them, I have set another deadline. I know it is ridiculous to keep doing this, esp. since there were certain things that if according to my list of deadlines, I should have been rid of them as early as October 2008! But even so, I like to have a goal to work towards to… so my deadline is February… so lets see how it goes.

On the contrary, all is not doom and gloom for the year. After the service, I spent a few hours with some very close friends of mine… so, if the urban legend is true, then I am comforted to know that this bunch of loony clowns will continue to be an integral part of my life for the next year.

Also, I spent quite a bit of time talking and bonding with the family, which is good. Maybe this will be an indication that our relationship will continue to grow. For someone who has spent 8 years of her life living away from home and also even while at home was very personal about her problems, sharing her issues esp. with her parents is a big thing.

Anyway… I am also a firm believer that many things can happen in a year. (read here) So, who knows, maybe this may be the year where my wings will get clipped, or maybe I will finally abandon everything and go pursue something that is close to my heart, or win the lottery or have a sex change or heck, become an award winning somebody!

But new years are nice… anticipation of so much to behold and so much time to realise them… till you come to the part where you are sitting in church during new year midnight service minutes before the clock strikes 12 and you then ask yourself where has all the time gone to!

One thing is for sure, last year; I did accomplish certain things I had set out to do. Maybe not the results I was initially hoping for, but then again, it was a significant improvement. So, am keeping to that focus again this year, with the support of some of my loony toons, so… guess there is only one thing left to say...

Here is to 2009! May it be a blast!

^__^