A tribute to Lim Kwai Choon

Some ppl used to tell me he had a bad temper. But I never saw it. I knew he liked to play mahjong a lot and he was a teacher... I must assume he was a passionate and patient teacher because that was how he was with me and my cousins. And with his grandchildren as well. He spoilt us (rach and I) and his grandchildren rotten.

He had his version of religion and wasn't very particular about practising it. But he followed us to church every now and then... usually for the 1st service so he can then make it in time to pay visit his favourite curry mee stall after the service. But later in life, he was a believer. And he tried to live his life in accordance to our Lord.

He showed me that the key to quitting smoking was all in the mind. After being a chain pipe smoker for more then 20 over years, he went cold turkey... because he felt it was the right thing to do for his family.

I also remembered when rach and I were little girls, he used to tell po po, my mom, his wife and tai yee he was taking us out for ice cream but he secretly wanted time to 'gossip' with my dad. We didn't care... in fact, we got to eat guilt free ice cream and listened to stories.

It wasn't just him, it was he and his wife, I adored. One of the few relatives I would get all excited when I knew they were coming to town. Simply because they were so much fun to be with and the joy they brought to our home with their precence was indescribable

I was so torn when I found out he had passed on... maybe because I desperately wanted to see him before I left for UK and i didn't make it. And now I wish I had... I spoke to A.Kate and all I wanted to do at that point was to hold her and comfort her... but I couldn't. And all I could do was pray with her... and a certain peace came over me. Peace that only 1 Person in the world can ever give.

I know he is in the arms of The Almighty... and he is no longer suffering... which is good... but it hurts to be miles away from home.

Family reunions will never be the same without him. And A. Kate will never be the same without him. They were beautiful together... so much love for the ppl around them and they drove each other bananas most of the times.

Long time ago, I was encouraged to write something about my understanding of death... My friend died of a freak accident and it really tore me apart. Not because we were extremely close, though he was a good friend... but also because as a christian, I sometimes struggle to understand the concept of death and to deal with it 'amicably.' But there was something I was driven to write that day, that till today encourages me and renews my faith that God is in control.

I can't explain why I wrote what I wrote, but I suppose He knows.

"... I have learnt at a young age that all attempts to understand or give meaning to “death” or the death of a loved one are futile. I would like to assume that I through the years and as I have grown, I have come to terms with “death”, especially after experiencing a few – car crash, old age and cancer.

I suppose one of the main reasons I am able to (at some point) deal with “death” calmly and with a dash of finesse is because I am desperately holding on to the promise that God knows and sees all. And, all is within His hand and jurisdiction. Therefore my job is not to understand, attempt to provide meaning or even question, but more so to accept, trust and have faith that He is indeed in control and knows that He is doing – though many times I would like to beg to differ... another friend said that perhaps we are not suppose to “Why Lord did this happen?” or “How Lord could you let this happen?” but to rather, “What Lord am I suppose to learn from this?” and “How Lord can I use this lesson to bless others?” The more I ponder; I think this friend has a point.

So to all my friends and loved ones that have gone before me, I thank you for the lessons of acceptance (in what I do not understand), trust (in God who’s infinite wisdom surpasses all human understanding) and faith (that His plan is to prosper us and not to harm us).

I know in our Father's house there are many mansions, so I hope mine is next to yours. And please do not surprise me by decorating my place for me; I will do it when I get there."