Holding on... Patience... and the Gender Psyche

Ok... it looks a bit small... but what it is actually saying is : It's hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.

The few that know me will know that I am struggling at the moment - to know if what I am holding on to worth holding on to.

Some are telling me to let go.

Some are saying that I should fight for it.

I haven't the foggiest clue!

I know I am currently holding on and in a way refusing to let go. But I am worried, what if what "everything I wanted" realises that I am not "everything he wanted" OR worst yet, not what He wants for both of us........

*sigh* sometimes I wish I have the occasional first class ticket into His plans or the male psyche.

I do not care what the world says! But the Male Psyche has got to be one of the most confusing things ever... and they are not immediately behind the Female Psyche or way behind. In fact to be fair to both species, they are both EQUALLY confusing... not one more than the other... EQUAL!

And to make matters worse, is the mind games we play. Like seriously, WHY!? Is life not complicated enough that we need to spice it up with more mind games? Have them guessing what we are thinking or feeling by all our actions which most of the time contradict how we really feel inside?

Come to think of it, OK, there are days I do it and the repercussions I get, esp bout how confusing women are... hmm... ok... so I decided to take the more honest stance. Speak my mind, then I get complaints about how I am not feminine enough... I should not be so direct and la la la.. and I should try and understand what he is indirectly trying to say...

Like what!? Hey, I spend my days being tactful to ppl as a career. Do I really want to be so guarded in my personal life too? My answer, NO. According to society's norms, I should. And my response is - Why? Is life not complicated enough?

Like seriously (again) ... what lah am I suppose to do?

*sigh*

Anyway... I digressed... so, conclusion - I guess I am holding on... at least for a while. Maybe this is a test of my sincerity and patience. Lord knows I am currently running low on that!

^__^

PS... I mean running low on patience... :-p