Excerpt from Christianity Today:
Is God in this relationship? I've always believed that the Lord brings people into our life for special reasons. Maybe we need someone to ease our burden at work, share a hobby, make us laugh, solve a problem, give us advice, set an example, or strengthen our faith. The Lord doesn't put people in our path to tempt us, drive a wedge in our marriage, or cause us to stray from our values. As we pray for God's blessing on all our friendships, we should ask for his special guidance and protection as we set boundaries for our male-female relationships. A simple question to ask is: Is this friendship God-honoring? When we sense God's approval and have set appropriate boundaries, we can truly enjoy one of life's richest blessings—the gift of friendship.
Yeap… today we are going to explore a very familiar topic in this blog – boundaries in relationships. Those of you who are following this blog – namely me, myself and I and the few specially selected individuals would know that this is a subject that truly intrigues me.
2 nights ago I had a conversation with a friend – same guy who knocked me off my feet with his profound statement about not making an effort in my friendships. He shared that almost all his gfs lived with him. And he is still a virgin. OK… I hate to be a pessimist and doubt him but I really do. I asked him how do ppl set boundaries… and for the life of me I can’t recall what his answer was. This is what happens when you try to have an intelligent conversation at 4 am in the morning! I have yet to pick this conversation up with him and get his version.
But this morning as I was clearing all the docs in my laptop I found the excerpt above. It was sent by a friend and was asked to comment.
I of course agreed with it. If you know me well, which I am sure you do, cos you are me and I am me and I am you (please note : only applicable to myself and I) that is really my basis of why my relationships have failed thus far – because it was not honoring God. As much as I wanted to root it on God, I always ended up making some stoopid mistake. I got too emotionally attached and placed that person on a higher level than God. We got too physical – which we all know is a NO NO to God. Or it was unequally yoked – which didn’t last long anyway… Or he was seeing someone and was trying to cheat behind her back and he wasn’t the same religion (will get to this in a while). I thank God I had the common sense to walk out… though he was a really nice guy… cute, charming, and intelligent and had a very interesting sexy appeal to him. *Sigh* The forbidden fruit…
Even for S and R, I wonder how they have set their boundaries. And to what extend of intimacy is acceptable in God’s eyes? Are we ok to have fun a little just as long as it does not get out of hand? And what is the definition of out of hand in God’s context? I am tempted to ask MF cos her bf seems like a really nice bloke. He is very respectful and her being the “funny” gal, was quite shy when he asked her permission to hold her hand. I am sure they have gone past that. I am sure they have graduated to the good night kisses on the cheek… I think. I may be wrong.
I am not sure when I will give this topic a break. Maybe when I find someone? Then I can account all our experiences in trying to stay within the boundaries. But we all know that will take a while right… cos I am so dead into not having someone.
Oh right… the religion bit. I know the bible says I should not be unequally yoked… but does that really mean I can’t date a non-christian? I know this makes us Christians sound very egocentric, but am I really not allowed to date a non-christian? If we get along and he is a great guy? What if through our relationship he comes to know God? I won’t know right cos I am too busy trying to be unequally yoked. Someone told me those who are interested in a non-christian are usually the ones that comes up with this rationalization as it gives a reason suitable for them.
Honestly I hate the word non-christian. Makes us sound… yeap… egocentric! So how do I over come this? How do I provide logic and understanding to this issue? L
Oh and guess what!? Guess what the cat dragged in? Shaun! I am willing to put his name here cos too many S in my life and this one… well I am not particularly keen on him sticking around and I find him a terrible influence. Despite all that we have been through, I think at the end of the day he will never understand me cos I function with different rules. He thinks everyone in his life functions with the rules he knows. I wish he knew God’s rules! Anyway… he said for old time sake and since I am leaving, lets meet up. I think it is playing with fire. And truth is, he still intimidates me… though he is 1 of the few ppl who can read me. I just wish he didn’t have all his shit going on around me then I wouldn’t mind keeping him around as a really good friend.
Anyway… yeah… boundaries. I don’t know lah… there is no profound thoughts I can provide at this time. So guess I shall just stop here.
Chill & Fill!
Is God in this relationship? I've always believed that the Lord brings people into our life for special reasons. Maybe we need someone to ease our burden at work, share a hobby, make us laugh, solve a problem, give us advice, set an example, or strengthen our faith. The Lord doesn't put people in our path to tempt us, drive a wedge in our marriage, or cause us to stray from our values. As we pray for God's blessing on all our friendships, we should ask for his special guidance and protection as we set boundaries for our male-female relationships. A simple question to ask is: Is this friendship God-honoring? When we sense God's approval and have set appropriate boundaries, we can truly enjoy one of life's richest blessings—the gift of friendship.
Yeap… today we are going to explore a very familiar topic in this blog – boundaries in relationships. Those of you who are following this blog – namely me, myself and I and the few specially selected individuals would know that this is a subject that truly intrigues me.
2 nights ago I had a conversation with a friend – same guy who knocked me off my feet with his profound statement about not making an effort in my friendships. He shared that almost all his gfs lived with him. And he is still a virgin. OK… I hate to be a pessimist and doubt him but I really do. I asked him how do ppl set boundaries… and for the life of me I can’t recall what his answer was. This is what happens when you try to have an intelligent conversation at 4 am in the morning! I have yet to pick this conversation up with him and get his version.
But this morning as I was clearing all the docs in my laptop I found the excerpt above. It was sent by a friend and was asked to comment.
I of course agreed with it. If you know me well, which I am sure you do, cos you are me and I am me and I am you (please note : only applicable to myself and I) that is really my basis of why my relationships have failed thus far – because it was not honoring God. As much as I wanted to root it on God, I always ended up making some stoopid mistake. I got too emotionally attached and placed that person on a higher level than God. We got too physical – which we all know is a NO NO to God. Or it was unequally yoked – which didn’t last long anyway… Or he was seeing someone and was trying to cheat behind her back and he wasn’t the same religion (will get to this in a while). I thank God I had the common sense to walk out… though he was a really nice guy… cute, charming, and intelligent and had a very interesting sexy appeal to him. *Sigh* The forbidden fruit…
Even for S and R, I wonder how they have set their boundaries. And to what extend of intimacy is acceptable in God’s eyes? Are we ok to have fun a little just as long as it does not get out of hand? And what is the definition of out of hand in God’s context? I am tempted to ask MF cos her bf seems like a really nice bloke. He is very respectful and her being the “funny” gal, was quite shy when he asked her permission to hold her hand. I am sure they have gone past that. I am sure they have graduated to the good night kisses on the cheek… I think. I may be wrong.
I am not sure when I will give this topic a break. Maybe when I find someone? Then I can account all our experiences in trying to stay within the boundaries. But we all know that will take a while right… cos I am so dead into not having someone.
Oh right… the religion bit. I know the bible says I should not be unequally yoked… but does that really mean I can’t date a non-christian? I know this makes us Christians sound very egocentric, but am I really not allowed to date a non-christian? If we get along and he is a great guy? What if through our relationship he comes to know God? I won’t know right cos I am too busy trying to be unequally yoked. Someone told me those who are interested in a non-christian are usually the ones that comes up with this rationalization as it gives a reason suitable for them.
Honestly I hate the word non-christian. Makes us sound… yeap… egocentric! So how do I over come this? How do I provide logic and understanding to this issue? L
Oh and guess what!? Guess what the cat dragged in? Shaun! I am willing to put his name here cos too many S in my life and this one… well I am not particularly keen on him sticking around and I find him a terrible influence. Despite all that we have been through, I think at the end of the day he will never understand me cos I function with different rules. He thinks everyone in his life functions with the rules he knows. I wish he knew God’s rules! Anyway… he said for old time sake and since I am leaving, lets meet up. I think it is playing with fire. And truth is, he still intimidates me… though he is 1 of the few ppl who can read me. I just wish he didn’t have all his shit going on around me then I wouldn’t mind keeping him around as a really good friend.
Anyway… yeah… boundaries. I don’t know lah… there is no profound thoughts I can provide at this time. So guess I shall just stop here.
Chill & Fill!
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