Nice...

I had a conversation with a guy last night. Yes... not a fantastic topic. But I found it interesting.

I found someone who is into reading ppl... like me. But though he feels we all have 5 minutes to make an impact, I believe we should not sum a person up so soon. So that is probably one of the few diferences.

Secondly, he is neat. Anal-retentive neat. Everything must be in order for his brain to think. Truth is, I told him I need things to be right as well, but not to his extent I think. Like right now, I am sitting on my desk and there is junk all over. And I am quite ok with it. I feel comforted. I am at peace with my junk, though I do tell myself I need to tide things a bit.

Anyway...

We also talked about out relationships. He kept selling me the fact that he is nice. I suppose he is. But I ca also see a little bit of vulnerability in him. He has travelled around a lot and found it difficult making friends. Hence he is quite "anal" about certain things in life - like falling into a routine. On one hand, he doesn't want to fall into one - or not he will be boring. But on the other hand, I think he find comfort in the routine.

He is also quite cultured in a way... probably the wine and dine kinda guy. And we all know I am not into it. hahaha... now why am I concerned? For no particular reason actually.

But something interesting... he has not let go of his ex gf yet. in fact through out our conversation there were occasions when he kept referring to her as his gf. and i told him at some point he said it was not easy to let go. And we all know I totally understand where he is coming from. I shared with him my concept of relationships / friendships...

"Everyone in my life has a purpose to fulfil. There is something I am suppose to experience and learn from each individual that passes through my life. So if a person is not meant to be part of my life till the end, maybe they have fulfilled their purpose. This is fate"

He didn't believe in fate - in fact he said he believed in destiny. I think fate and destiny are the same thing.

But he went on to say, if what I said was true, then I would not really make an effort to try and sort through issues... because I would be blaming all the issues on "fate".

Now this... knocked me off my feet.

Is it really true? I am not making an effort to bridge some of the gaps because I made the decision that their journey with me has ended? Is that why I don't have a "friend"? Becasue I don't want to get attached and have to suddenly bumble through life unsure?

Cos to be honest, that was excatly how I felt when SB left to UK to study... or when DG and I broke up or when I graduated and AN was still studying. so I have learnt to survive and rely on me, myself and I.

Haiyo... this sounds so familiar lah... like the whole love hurts lah.

Think I am thinking too much.